I met the president of my husband’s company today. She’s about five feet tall, maybe 110 soaking wet. And in five minutes I was fascinated with her.

For one thing, she’s the president of a big company in a very male-dominated industry: hardware wholesalers. The business is populated by a lot of self-made, hardworking guys who don’t take a lot of crap. Most of the big hardware distributors started out (and still are) family-owned. A lot of the people she deals with are generations deep in a business that’s resistant to change.

That’s one of the reasons I was fascinated – I’m putting myself in her shoes and I imagine it’s tough to earn respect. Being a woman is one thing, but a woman without the ability to be physically imposing is another. I’m only 5’1″ so I get it. We have a natural physical respect for tall people, and so without height you have to work harder to earn it.

Another reason was her shoes. She had on a bright blue skirt-suit and black heels with a detail on them. As we know, clothes make the man, but a man’s suit doesn’t convey much. Women’s clothes can give a million messages and looking good without looking too good, if you know what I mean, is a fine art. Being too sexy doesn’t garner respect, but blandness doesn’t either. The fact that she wore cool shoes instead of boring shoes makes me think she’s confident. I’m curious how she got to that point, or if anybody else even struggles with that.

When I was introduced to her, she was at the entrance to the company’s big, twice-a-year tradeshow and greeting each customer as they came in the door. As we chatted, my husband told her about one of the company’s customers (a hardware store owner) from our hometown who does an truly amazing job of managing his inventory, which in turn makes his business very successful. She asked to be introduced to him, and wondered if he would do a seminar about his process to help other customers.

Her first thought was to connect this guy with other people who could benefit from his knowledge. Wondering how I could apply that mentality to my business.

So I know pretty much nothing else about her and I would love to get to know her better. Not sure that will happen anytime soon. But in the meantime I’m thinking about how to be a confident, stylish, gracious and respected businesswoman. Suggestions welcome.